I miss you lots today sigh

Today has been a really hard day for me… Not that I haven’t missed you any other day a lot. Today it just sinks in that it’s still a really long time until I get to hold you again.

I was taking to Vanderveen and he said the longest he has ever been apart from Aissa was 10 days and he couldn’t imagine what I’m going through. That was hard for me. I compare a lot of what we have to mark and Aissa and for him to be such a “macho” guy and said that really made me think. It is hard. I’m not the same. I am happy but not as happy, I wake up everyday and stay motivated for us but it’s hard when my better half isn’t here.

It’s amazing the affects you have on me. I found your hoodie today in my room and It smelled like you… That instantly made me collapse. I’m trying so hard to be strong but it’s not very easy.

I am jealous I am working so hard this summer and you get to enjoy yourself, but I also wouldn’t have it any other way because I love you so much. I just picture you and us anytime I get down when I am working as hard as I am. That is my motivation. I will always do my best to make your life easier, please remember that babe. Don’t ever feel bad for me helping you. That’s what I am hearing for until death do us part.

I am taking deep breaths and trying to be strong but everyday you are gone I am feeling more and more hollow. I miss my best friend. I miss calling you whenever I want. I am fortunate I do get to talk to you even for a few minutes though.

Please know I am thinking of you lots. Inshallah everyday you realize more you want to spend the rest of your life with me…I pray that doesn’t change. I pray you don’t miss your independence. I just can’t imagine my life without you. I know sometimes my best isn’t great but I always try my best to make you smile, to make your life easier, to ease some stress. I hope you know I always mean well.

I’m going to keep trying to stay positive. I’m going to keep trying to smile but man I am really struggling today. I miss you incredibly. I love you even more.

Always and forever.

:(

Well my nightmare is about to start. I’m going to try and be strong but it’s going to be so hard. I’m going to miss you so much baby. You’re my best friend. You’re my better half. You keep me sane. I’m so excited for you at the same time to go and fulfill so many things off your bucket list. I pray you have the time of your life. I’ll be thinking of you every second of every day. I pray this time goes fast. I’m so bad with goodbyes and dreading tomorrow so much. I can’t function. I am so grateful for all you have taught me and for all you have done for me. Please be safe and come back to me in one piece baby. Muahhhhhh I love you so much. Xx

One last day here

Only one more day here and you’re gone for 4 weeks. I hope you have the time of your life and experience everything you can. I love you hayati.

Today

Today was a big day. I can finally be considered Muslim and I feel closer to you then ever baby. Today was so important to me and I couldn’t be happier how it went. Definitely I was nervous but inshallah all your friends and family continue to love and support me. I promise to always treat you well and keep you safe hayati. You mean so much to me. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Muahhhhhh xx happy anniversary again :)

Sad and excitement mix

I love you babe and boy I’m going to miss you so much. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with myself. I am really excited for tomorrow. I am hoping the spotlight isn’t going to be on me and I’m worried about that. Nevertheless I know I have my best friend there with me. I love you so much. Muahhhh

One more sad post

Wellllll anxiety is officially setting in. This is the last weekend I’ll get to see you for a while. I got asked tonight if I am going to cry when you leave. The answer is yes. I am sad. It’s hard for me to imagine going solo for a month. I am going to stop saying how sad I am now though. Why? I want you to have the time of your life. I want you to experience everything you can down there and I want you to coming back loving me even more than before inshallah. I am blessed for the time I get to spend with you hayati. Muahhhh

Ugh 2

Days are getting closer but this isn’t getting any easier. What keeps me going is how amazing you are to me. How lucky I am that I never need to worry about you putting yourself in a bad situation. I love that about you. You are so faithful and trustworthy and I love you so much babe. I am dreading the days apart but also so excited for all the amazing memories ahead when you get home. Muahhh

Emptiness is setting in

It’s a week away from one of the longest times in my life… Days are going to crawl by.. Weeks are going to feel like eternities and I am going to be thinking about you every second of everyday. I am so grateful you get the chance to go knock things off your bucket list babe. I just am so bittersweet. You are my world. You are my best friend and I am going to miss you immensely. I am so grateful for you and hope this is the final long amount of time we have to spend away from each other… I want to start doing things like this together. I love you so much babe.

Feeling like family

Grateful for coming over and feeling like family baby. It’s amazing to spend time in the house you grew up in and sit and talk with your parents and cousin and moms friend. I felt just like family tonight and really loved it. Everyday, more and more I am falling for you. You are so good to me. So amazing to be around and I just love you so much. To have your family approve of me means the world to me. Looking forward to all the memories to come this summer, starting with Sunday. Xxx

Always have my back

I know it might sound really simple but thank you baby for always having my back and being willing to help me. My car really worries me because I am way over the kilometres and you are always here to make things easier on me. I love you so freakin much my love. You are so good to me. Very blessed to have you in my life and so so so so excited for all we have planned this summer. Muahhhhhh xx always and forever hayati